Well, hello there.

Ta very much for popping by - we're after your cash. Dan, Alan & Dick will be driving in the Scumball rally in April 2008... four days of debauchery, piston slap, gendarme altercations and general confusion, all in aid of Whizz-Kidz.

It's a very worthwhile charity - we need you to help us scrape together five hundred of your finest English pounds... not each, obviously. Every little helps. (And remember the Gift Aid!)

Thank you, you're lovely.