On 14th March 2018 we were given the news we were expecting twins and that they were Monochorionic, meaning they were identical and shared a placenta, which can be more risky due to both babies only having the one nutrients source, but we would be scanned fortnightly by a Specialist Consultant to monitor their progress.

During a scan on Friday 13th April the Consultant confirmed the fluid levels between our twin boys had reached a critical level, she believed we had Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) and we required urgent specialist treatment . Twin 1 Zak was in much more fluid than he needed and this was having a significant impact on the function of his heart, Twin 2 Theo had very little fluid, he was the stuck twin and his bladder wasn't producing enough fluid. The Consultant explained we wouldn't be able to be seen anywhere before Monday, she would try our nearest TTTS Specialist Mark Denbow at St Michaels hospital in Bristol. We left Southmead that day not knowing whether come Monday our twin boys would even still be alive.

Following a painstaking weekend, as Mr Denbow scanned us on Monday 16th April, and we heard the words "Two Heartbeats" we felt so relieved. He confirmed it was TTTS and discussed our options. None of these came without their own risks but the choice was a no brainer- laser ablation would give both our boys a chance. We asked when this procedure could be carried out, Mark said "now".

The next 36 hours felt like an eternity. We went back into St Michaels on the morning of Wednesday 18th & Friday 20th April. Both occasions Mr Denbow repeated those reassuring words "Two Heartbeats". Theo's fluid levels had increased which was a positive sign the laser procedure had been successful; but Zak still had severe cardiac dysfunction and it seemed the damage was irreversible

We saw Mr Denbow on 25th April, 1st May, 9th May & 15th May- all the scans followed a similar pattern and as Zak continued to remain very poorly it seemed Mr Denbow was surprised his little heart continued to beat. We knew as time progressed during this month of various scans the very sad fact that Zak would not survive should he be born, due to the abnormality with his heart, so prayed hard that Theo would fight on and be born a healthy baby boy. 

On 22nd May Mr Denbow explained that Theo's growth had slowed down, the fluid levels were imbalanced again and waiting for nature to take its course with Zak was no longer an option due to the impact he was now having on his brother.Dr Denbow suggested we accept an urgent referral to London University College Hospital (UCH) to see his colleague / fellow TTTS Specialist Professor Ruwan Wimalasundera who could perform the Selective Reduction (cord block) procedure. 

We had extremely mixed emotions following this scan, as deep down we knew we would never get the chance to meet Zak and watch him grow up, yet always hoped that nature would take its course and it wouldn't come down to us deciding to formally stop his little heart beating. Yet here we were in another situation whereby doing nothing meant we would lose both twins pretty quickly. We agreed to go to UCH.

Thursday 24th May arrived and off we went to London.  Dr Wimalasundera advised us that with one well twin & one poorly twin normally the procedure would give a 90% success rate to the well twin. In our case he said we had two very poorly babies and he would estimate only a 30% success rate for the cord blocking procedure- this was devastating news. We were taken to a side room to weigh up our options but once again we were left with very little choice, doing nothing would see us lose both our boys, we had come this far so even 30% was worth fighting for. We agreed to go ahead & midwives were sent in to prepare us for the procedure.


The following day 25th May we went back into see Mr Denbow at St Michaels for a further scan to see whether Theo had survived the first 24 hours- he had!

Following the long weekend we went back into St Michaels on Tuesday 29th May. We had been told not to expect any growth or change in fluid levels, as this could take a few weeks to show. The scan was positive though, Theo had 1.6mm of fluid which was more than the last scan, and growth had reverted back to previous centiles. There was still a long way to go but we felt reassured things were moving in the right direction. Mr Denbow said it would be worth taking a break from frequent scanning for 2 weeks. This would give us a break from St Michaels, allow Theo time to grow and that would take us to 26 weeks and Theo could be nearing a viable weight. 

Early hours of 31st May arrived & Michelle didn't feel well. She knew she was in early labour. We arrived at St Michaels at 5:10am to be told she was fully dilated, definitely in labour and the boys would be coming imminently. Zak arrived first at 6:08am followed shortly by Theo at 6:21am- the Neo Natal Team worked on Theo; however it wasn't long before the Dr told us that sadly they couldn't do anymore for him. At only 330g he just wasn't big enough to survive. His little heart lasted 3 hours. Devastated doesn't even come close to how we felt, this last 7 weeks had been such a rollercoaster and this certainly wasn't the outcome we had prayed so hard for. We spent three days in hospital, alongside our baby boys and this is time we will treasure forever.  

We wanted to give something back so fundraising for The Capella Foundation where their founders had a similar situation seemed fitting. We hope the money raised can help towards the research and equipment to help other couples through TTTS with hopefully a more positive outcome.