On the 12th September The Elders of Cookham Dean will be running the annual Gravity Grand Prix to raise money for The Thames Valley & Chiltern Air Ambulance.

This year the Furze Platt Dads will be sending the most terrifying bunch of pirates the world has ever seen to compete. Captain of these scurvy dogs is Tim 'No beard' Waggett, a rum 'un for sure -- preferably mixed with coke and a dash of lemon. An accomplished seaman he has prepared for this latest voyage as he always does  - by listening to Rod Stewart's 'I am Sailing', thirty seven times.
His First Mate is Roger 'Long Johns' Franklin, by far the most experienced sailor amongst them, having seen all three of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies as well as owning the digitally remastered boxset of Captain Pugwash.
Helping them steer a straight course through the treacherous waters of Cookham Dean is Navigator Steve 'Two eye patches' Giles who once got lost on his way to Halfords to buy a SatNav and ended up in Papua New Guinea, where luckily they were able to give him directions to Halfords on the Slough Trading Estate.
Pirating is a hungry business so Chief cook and bottle smasher on this little escapade is Mister Bob 'up and down' Gregory, who has an extensive knowledge of world cuisine from Indian to Chinese to Italian which he gained by working his fingers to the bone in the kitchen... dialling take-aways from across the Berkshire area.
As you can imagine these slovenly pirates make a lot of mess, so to help them tidy up we have finally and very much least the Poop Deck cleaning boy Joe 'X marks the spots' Williams, who like all men has extensive experience helping with the domestic chores at home -- doing the washing up, cleaning and tidying, laundry and ironing. Well okay maybe not all those things but he did once change the fuse on the plug of the hoover back in 1997.

Together this fearsome band of buccaneers will plunder the Spanish Main, devour the French Starter and polish off the Italian Dessert before they attack the Cookham Gravity Challenge with a thundering broad-side and then haul their booties back to the Craufurd Arms for nice pint of Rebellion and a packet of pork scratchings. Oooo---arrrrr!

The brave men will be sailing the Craufurd Cut Throat galleon down the course risking life and limb. So please dig deep and donate for us and if you can please come along and cheer us on next Sunday. Thanks for taking the time to visit our JustGiving page.

http://www.cookham.com/adverts/cookhamnow/clubssocieties/kaffirs/kaffirs.htm