Our world was irreversibly torn apart when my beloved husband, George, died suddenly and unexpectedly on the 11th of October last year, just a week after his 57th birthday. Multiple myeloma was diagnosed around the time of death. Myeloma was something I knew little about and I can't help but feel that if I'd known more, and if there was a greater awareness of it then George may still be alive now. He had always been strong, fit, active and healthy and with an early diagnosis may have responded well to treatment.

Our children had all just left home weeks before George passed away and we were both looking forward to having more time together and had various plans, including cycling from London to Paris for my 50th birthday this year. Initially, I thought I couldn't ever do this  cycle without George, but after reading about myeloma and finding that diagnosis is often slow, yet with early diagnosis there is a much greater success with treatment despite it being an incurable cancer, I decided that instead of moping around I should do this cycle in memory of George. It would also help to raise awareness of myeloma and generate funds to assist with much needed research to find a cure, so that what happened to George will not happen to others.

George's story

George suffered from extreme lower back pain for almost a month before his death. He had seen the GP twice and an osteopath 3 times during this time and given painkillers, manipulation and exercises but there was not the slightest bit of improvement. George had also seen the GP sometime previously for similar intermittent back pain, although not quite as severe at that point. Also, he had most likely broken ribs a month or so earlier whilst just stretching over the back of the tractor seat working at something. I thought it abnormal at the time and wanted George to visit the GP, but he thought there was no point as nothing is done for broken ribs, so he didn't go. Throughout the period of back pain both George and I were becoming increasingly anxious that something was far from right and this was confirmed to me the night of our eldest daughter's graduation 6 days before he died. I was speaking to someone and looked over at George, and although he smiled back, he looked terminally ill. I felt my heart break. As it was a Friday night he had to wait until Monday for a GP appointment, by which time he was also feeling unwell and looking ill. He was still working as much as he could on the croft despite struggling to weightbear by this time and in agony. Bloods were duly taken and on Wednesday we received a message to come in and discuss the results the next morning - we both feared the worst and were thinking bone cancer. That night George became gradually more ill with a high temperature, I was extremely concerned by this point and called NHS 24 who sent out an ambulance. Other than the pyrexia the paramedics didn't find anything untoward in his observations so thought it would be best to wait and see the GP in the morning as planned, but to call them again if things worsened. Despite misgivings, I thought I must be overreacting and as George didn't want to go to hospital, and I didn't want to cause him unnecessary distress I let them go, which I will always regret. George's condition deteriorated rapidly, so I called the ambulance again and he was rushed to hospital. He was thought initially to have meningitis, then septicaemia and was put on a ventilator, but was never to recover. George's sisters and our three children aged 16, 18 and 22 at the time, had no idea that anything was wrong until they received a phonecall to say he was critically ill, but despite them all rushing to the hospital none of them got there in time.

I know I will find this cycle extremely emotionally difficult. I had aways wanted to go to Paris with George and now I will be doing this in memory of him, rather than with him. Recently, I found even taking my bike out difficult as cycling was something we enjoyed together and as a family, although I do feel that by doing this event with people who have also been affected by myeloma will be helpful.

Physically, it will also be a challenge as the distances involved are well beyond what I would usually do in a day but if it can help earlier diagnosis and a cure then it will be worth it.