Sadly my Mum passed away on the 8th October , in the week before she died we were fortunate to spend time with her in the Purple Butterfly Suite at Rotherham Hospital. The suite is like a private flat where you can stay 24/7 with your loved ones in their last days of life , it's decorated in a homely manner and has a purple butterfly theme throughout and tiny LED lights on the ceiling which at night time look like stars in the night sky- the patient care package is very much family led in partnership with the wonderful palliative care team and the equally wonderful Fitzwilliam Ward staff.

This wonderful environment enabled my mum to retain her full dignity and myself , dad and sister full privacy as we shared the last days and hours of mum's life , it's an experience that I will never forget and will be forever grateful for the total package of care she received from the palliative care and ward staff to enable her to pass peacefully and pain free .

The Purple Butterfly Suite depends on charitable donations to sustain its facilities to the families who like ours can benefit tremendously in the final days of their loved ones life.

Mum was always encouraging me to lose weight and look after myself better instead of just looking after others . It' something I never managed to do during her lifetime and so in memory of a beautiful lady , my mum, I have set myself the challenge to lose 75 pounds ( one pound for each year of her life ) by May 8th 2016 which would have been her 76th birthday .

I also wrote and read out the poem below in memory of her life at her funeral.

For The life of a beautiful lady…… ​​
What do you see when you’re looking at me ?
Do you see an old lady battling cancer and COPD
If that’s what you see, then look much more clearly
Cos what you think you see, is not me really

You should see a small girl playing out on Lloyd Street
Happily playing, with hand me down clothes and shoes on her feet
Hazel and Bernard a loving sister and brother
We all looked after each other, in the absence of a mother.

A loving dad who worked harder just to make ends meet
Just so he could give us an occasional treat.
We all grew up together and have happy times from that street
But now we must spread our wings and find our own feet.

Now I’m a young lady with the wind in my hair
With friends and colleagues from work, we all have dreams that we share
Then one day at work a dashing young man caught my eye
A young lad called sprig , or Keith , if you’re shy

Keith and I were lovers and soon wedding bells chimed
A year later to the day, the patter of tiny feet arrived
A few years later the sound of another
Our Mark and Debbie became sister and brother

By now we’re in Maltby with love and laughter throughout the house
I’m maturing as a loving mother and housewife for my spouse
I work when I can to give the kids that bit more
Whilst looking after elderly parents, it was never a chore

As I grow older and wiser suddenly dark clouds do gather
I was filled with grief at the loss of my Father
We’d already lost Tom and dear Edna’s time came too
But now we had grandchildren, which made us feel less blue

Others to mention who have been so close it’s plain to see
Are Austen and Anita , they’ve been an extra son and daughter to me
They married my children and made my family complete
By giving the next generation of pattering feet

My role as a Nannan was so exciting and new
I loved them so much Austen, Chris, Lucy and Drew
With four grandchildren life was full of laughter and lively
Sixteen years later came my fifth, our little Libby

As I grow older life is happy and peaceful, like fresh sparkling waters
Then out of the blue came Scarlett and Violet, my gorgeous great grand-daughters
So as you can see all around me is new life
I’ve not done so bad, a Great Nannan, Nannan , Mother and 54 years a Wife

As I came to the end of life’s wonderful road
It’s been a pleasure to have my family around me, as I grew old
As I look back and remember the happy journey I’ve made
Don’t let the good times, love and laughter ever fade

So when you look at me now, don’t think of me ,
Battling with Cancer and COPD
Think of the good times, the memories, the laughter
And I hope that all my family will live happily ever after

God came to collect me with a “stroke” of his hand, but when you’re asking yourself, why?
Look for that bright star that shines in the night sky
No more pain, no more suffering or an occasional sigh
As my soul floats to heaven, on the wings of that purple butterfly.
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If you can spare just a few pounds to help me on my weight loss quest and help other families benefit from the Purple Butterfly Suite in the same way we did I'd be very grateful 

Thanks for taking the time to read my story , Mark x

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