Toby Ingram

Toby's page

Fundraising for Young Lives vs Cancer
£4,659
raised of £100 target
by 40 supporters
Donations cannot currently be made to this page
In memory of Benny Crutchley
Young Lives vs Cancer

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RCN 1107328 and SC039857
We help families find the strength to face everything cancer throws at them

Story

My good friends Su and Nige Crutchley's youngest son Ben was a happy, healthy, fun loving boy and best friends with his elder brother Luke. It was a month after Ben’s 9th birthday party that their whole world began to crumble, Ben suffered a little seizure which became one of many over the next few days.


They took Ben straight to hospital. Before they knew it, Ben was going through a myriad of examinations, tests, scans and under went a biopsy. A few days after the biopsy they were given the results, news that as parents they had hoped so hard not to have to hear. Ben had a malignant brain tumour, in other words, cancer. Words can’t adequately describe how they felt at that point, distraught, devastated, shocked, angry; all of these and more. But most of all they felt that they'd stepped into another world in the space of a few seconds, one where they had no experience, no compass to guide them and nobody to turn to. Almost immediately, Ben began a course of Radio and Chemotherapy along with a cocktail of drugs to control his seizures. In the midst of this, Sally and Ally came into their lives.


Sally and Ally are CLIC Sargent Nurses, and they provided so much more than just medical advice. They helped Su and Nige to tell Ben’s Luke about what was happening, explained to them about the effects of Radio and Chemotherapy, helping them to navigate the never ending NHS maze and supported them through some of the darkest hours anyone can imagine. But most importantly of all they were there for Ben. It was thanks to Sally and Ally that Ben was able to have blood tests and much of his treatment at home rather than in hospital. It was also thanks to Sally and Ally that Ben understood and wasn’t scared of any of the treatment that he was given, they were always honest, but they always cared about and intuitively knew how precious and desperately ill their little boy was.


Ben bravely fought the tumour that was continuing to grow in his brain. But in December 2011, 8 months after his initial diagnosis, the doctors sensitively told us that there was no more that could be done, the Chemotherapy had to be stopped. It was at this point that Sally and Ally stepped up even further. With their help, Ben remained at home until he passed away peacefully in their arms on 23rd February 2012, surrounded by those who loved him most. Sally and Ally visited us 3-4 times each day towards the end. Together, they all made sure that Ben didn’t have to cope with any scary machines or have people around him that he didn’t know. And they cared deeply about Su, Luke and Nige, they were always quietly there for each of them when they needed them the most, intuitively understanding what each of them were going through and making sure that they were prepared for what they had to face. They are still there for them now, over 2 years since they lost Ben, just making sure that they're doing OK and helping them with each stage of what, at times feels like a never ending wave of grief.


Lots of children do recover from cancer but some, like Ben, don’t.


10 families each day in the UK are told that their child has cancer, that’s 10 more families like mine who will desperately need the help of CLIC Sargent. So far they've managed to raise almost £177,000 to help other families receive the kind of support which we received from the amazing people at CLIC Sargent. Their goal is to raise £1 million in memory of Ben and mine is to help them as much as I can.

About the charity

Young Lives vs Cancer

Verified by JustGiving

RCN 1107328 and SC039857
At Young Lives vs Cancer, we help families find the strength to face whatever cancer throws at them. But every day 12 more children and young people hear the devastating news they have cancer. We’ll face it all together – but we can’t do it without you. Visit www.younglivesvscancer.org.uk

Donation summary

Total raised
£4,658.98
+ £1,107.75 Gift Aid
Online donations
£4,658.98
Offline donations
£0.00

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