I had the perfect pregnancy. I was the picture of health and I hadn't taken any time off work.

At 37wks plus 2 days I was about to do my last 4 days, then I would be off on maternity leave. We were to be sectioned at 39 weeks if I hadn't gone myself so we were down to the last 12 days before meeting our newest arrival and for Thea, who had waited so patiently, to become a big sister.

We left the hospital that day having heard a strong heartbeat with the excitement of what was to come. However, that evening, when I had finished my dinner, I knew something wasn't quite right. My husband, Justin, came in from work so I lay down drinking iced water to get some sort of movement but there was nothing. I had just come from the hospital so maybe bambino is just sleeping, I thought.

We went to the hospital that evening in the hope that I was that crazy overanxious mother but I think every woman knows her own body and unfortunately this time I was right - the little heartbeat we had heard not 10 hours before had gone and that was the start of the end.

We had everything in nappies and formula and everything was ready in the house, but just like that the most exciting moments of our lives became the most heartbreaking in an instant.

A few days later I was back in hospital I had to labour my baby. I really had no idea how this was going to be possible but the people who took me through this were my absolute heroes. It came down to two midwives and I thank God for them everyday.
They kept everything so calm and peaceful, baby Isla Rose was born at 1.30am but there was no crying just silence and the most beautiful little girl who was the double of her sister lay in our arms. She was just perfect, there was a knot in her cord which had obviously stopped her heart it was pretty unheard of but it's something that unfortunately for us just happened.

My next hero is this amazing woman from Sands, who just appears to take your baby away to clean her and dress her, take her handprints and footprints and as many photos as she could. She then brings her back to you in a moses basket with lots of beautiful blankets and two little teddies one for you one for her to swap at your final goodbye and I swear when Isla came back in she looked like an angel, as if she was just sleeping.

When you leave the hospital you are left with a beautiful box of pictures and memories and I know now that it was the main reason that helped me through this, that and the treatment from the amazing midwives. I know that psychologically it has kept me sane and I can never thank them enough.

This was the start of our journey with Sands and such a major part on a road to recovery. They also have meetings every month for you to attend anytime you need them. They are always there for my family as another hand to hold. A truly amazing group of people who continue to take us through this journey.

In honour of Sands and to mark what would have been my baby girl’s 1st birthday. I would really love to give back. I am sending my heart out to you all and asking if you can donate, absolutely anything will make a difference to those families going through what we did.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.