On Sunday 12th October – during Baby Loss Awareness Week – I'll be walking 4 miles at 4.00 pm in the Miscarriage Association Memory Walk 2025 to remember the 1 in 4 pregnancies that end in loss. I'll also be walking 15,000 steps a day for the month of October to help raise awareness for womens mental health after loss.

I am incredibly lucky to have 3 beautiful children but have also lost 3 precious little ones in different, traumatic ways. My mental health took a nose dive to depths I never thought possible after hearing the words 'I'm sorry but there's no heartbeat' at a routine scan. Having to endure surgery to remove a very much loved and wished for baby then returning to a ward full of pregnant women and babies was heartbreaking. The fear of that happening again gripped me throughout every other pregnancy I had. I went on to have another miscarriage after that until eventually our beautiful Elsie was born. But the damage had already been done and those 38 weeks of pregnancy were the worst weeks of my life. I refused to get attached to her, refused to acknowledge it was happening and couldn't allow myself to feel any happiness at all. I don't remember the first 6months of her life. I completely detached from myself and my family. Through the fog, exactly 18months later, Freddie arrived and the chaos of 3 children aged 3 and under took over. There was no time for me or my mental health. Throughout the next few years things would get better then worse again until in October last year my biggest fear, biggest trigger, happened again. Loss number 3.

Over the last year, I have made steps in trying to mend and manage my mental health. I am carrying my grief alongside the happiness of the life I have. Being present for the amazing children I am lucky to have. A huge part of that is talking about my grief. Opening up to my GP and getting the help I needed. I've found solice in my walks by the sea and I am trying to make sure there is always time for that.

There is so much more to be done in regards to womens mental health before, during and after pregnancy. There is help out there but it's hard to find. I am stronger because of that help. Please help me support these resources and other women like me. Our sisters, daughters, nieces, friends, partners!