TL:DR Sponsor me to get kicked in the head for a couple of hours in aid of Multiple Sclerosis UK

3 ways to donate (not mutually exclusive to each other!)

Donate here

✅ HMRC tops it up if you’re a UK taxpayer

✅ Zero faff

❌ You get nothing in return (apart from enjoying my misery)

Buy a raffle ticket for a quilt I’ve made in MS‑UK’s Team Purple colours - follow this link https://www.justgiving.com/page/susannah-sutton-3

✅ You might win a quilt

❌ Slightly more admin

❌ No HMRC bonus money

Join us at King’s Cliffe Church on 10 July for an MS‑UK Café takeover

✅ Excellent food + good company

❌ Potentially a bit of a trek if you’re not local

The longer version (for those who enjoy a slow build‑up to regret)

I’ve signed up to swim Swim Serpentine in support of MS‑UK — a national charity, established in 1993, that supports people with multiple sclerosis to make the most of today and live life to the full.

This is, objectively, a terrible idea.

I do not enjoy mass‑participation swimming. The last (and only) time I did one — during a triathlon — I was kicked in the head at least twice, swum over at the buoy markers, and rapidly disabused of any illusion that I am a graceful aquatic athlete. I was, in reality, a person trapped in a washing machine full of elbows and misery.

Training will not be much better.

I already dislike lane swimming: too much splashing, too many near‑collisions, and the endless silent war between people who think they’re faster than they are and those expressing themselves through aggressive, experimental front crawl. Is it worse to be stuck in a traffic jam (and kicked in the head) or cause the traffic jam? I also have terrible eyesight, so if my prescription goggles come off, there’s a genuine risk I’ll simply swim into a wall.

And yet… here we are.

So why am I doing this?

Because I’m lucky.

I’ve had a body that’s stayed relatively healthy for longer than many people get. That’s not something I earned — it’s genetic dumb luck. And I’ve seen, close up, how different life looks when that isn’t the case.

My friend Claire — whose fault this mainly is (sorry, I mean inspiration) — has MS. She has to think about things many of us take for granted, like whether she has the energy to get through a normal day. For people with MS, nutrition isn’t about aesthetics; it’s about functioning. High protein isn’t a lifestyle choice — it’s a necessity.

Meanwhile, I eat high protein so my clothes fit better and I can hike somewhere scenic.

That contrast stuck with me. So I went looking for something that raises awareness and that I wouldn’t enjoy. If I’m going to complain about crowded water, being climbed over by strangers, and general aquatic chaos, it might as well be for a reason that matters.

Which brings us neatly to the wetsuit.

I refuse to buy a new one. Mine is perfectly good. Unfortunately, while stored in the garage, it has definitely shrunk (this is a scientific fact and I will not be taking questions). So part of this challenge is not just swimming, but negotiating a fragile truce with neoprene that hasn’t been updated since the London Olympics.

In summary:

I will not enjoy the swim

I will dislike the training

I will complain — a lot

But I will do it

I’m going to suffer, shout about it, and emerge slightly traumatised. People with MS live with real challenges every day — please donate so my nonsense has a point.