On the 17/03/2025, reluctantly I had to return to London.

Many people are aware that I suffer from Anorexia. Although I am aware that I am ill, due to the medical professionals especially the Eating Disorders Clinic at South West London, St Georges, refusing to support me has given me the false sense that I am actually well. Over the period of 13/03/2025 and to the 17/03/2025 I was found unconscious several times with my wonderful dog, Precious barking to alert people.

If you would like to continue to support the two causes that I am currently fundraising for: StreetVet and The Listening Place, I would be so grateful. I was about 10 km from Portsmouth when I had to return.

I am planning to sell my drawings to aid these charities. If you have anything you would like to draw, I can do people but I don't want to give them a big nose, unless they deserve it!

Please see the pictures that I have drawn, not the full list, each picture takes over 20 hours to do. I use pencil, graphite, chalk and other black/grey and white materials. I do not know how to do colour! My artist name is Taka.

My artist account for Insta is: @preciouscraftsbyme

https://www.instagram.com/preciouscraftsbyme/

This is a Summary version of why I am doing this walk for The Listening Place.

This story explains why The Listening Place became an important part of my life.

From a young age, I faced significant challenges and had to overcome many obstacles. I moved to England in my teens, where I lived on the streets for a time. Despite these difficulties, I balanced voluntary work and evening college classes to continue my education.

The traumas of my early life made it challenging to lead a normal life. I married and had a son, but I struggled with the responsibilities of being a parent, which affected my mental health. After my divorce in early 2019, I embraced my true self and found happiness in my identity. Despite this, I continued to face mental health challenges and sought support from The Listening Place. Their compassionate volunteers provided a non-judgmental space where I felt truly heard for the first time in my life.

Over the past four years, The Listening Place has been a crucial support system. My sister's passing in 2023 had a significant impact on my mental health, and despite numerous attempts to seek help, I faced many difficulties in receiving the support I needed. The Listening Place's volunteers have been invaluable in keeping me going with their compassionate support.

While The Listening Place isn't specialized in certain areas, they provided a non-judgmental environment to discuss any topic, including my mental health struggles. Their unwavering support, particularly from a volunteer assigned to me in August 2023, was instrumental in my mental health recovery.

This December was the first time I didn't rely on their support during Christmas since 2018. Now, I aim to give back by undertaking a 1,000+ km journey to raise funds for The Listening Place.

Content Warning: The details of my story may be distressing to some readers.

This story is about why The Listening Place came into my life. Please be aware it mentions triggering topics such as: homeless, abuse, sexual violence/violence as a child and as a woman, and eating disorders.

I endured severe sexual and physical violence from my family at a very young age. At the age of 3, I was placed under the 'care' of the Irish Catholic Church, where the same mistreatment continued.

At 13, I escaped these homes (I had been locked in a room 8 feet by 8 feet for over a year). I lived on the streets of Dublin until being placed with a foster family at the age of 15. Unfortunately, this family was also abusive, prompting me to flee - just residing there for a few months - to England just before turning 16 years old.

I had never travelled outside of Ireland, I was scared but I couldn't continue with living that hell. I had to continue being brave and try to start a new life. So I went to Birmingham, taking a coach, hanging close to a family in order to get onboard the ferry from Ireland, a one way ticket costing £33.

Once in England, I continued to live on the streets until I was 20, when living on the streets I was balancing voluntary work during the day with evening college classes. I had left school at 11 because I was constantly trying to flee the violence and sexual violence portrayed on me. I knew the importance of education.

The traumas of my childhood and early adulthood made it challenging to lead a ‘normal’ life. I married at 26, and in 2011, at the age 31, my son was born.

I struggled to be a parent and the responsibilities of being a parent because I did not have any experience of loving parents or a normal upbringing. In the end I failed my son. Through becoming addicted to alcohol and drugs. Trying to disassociate myself from my childhood experiences. I could not get the mental health support I needed.

Therefore, it is not surprising, we separated in 2013 and eventually my marriage ended in early 2019, exacerbating my already fragile mental health.

From a young age, I struggled with my gender identity, this was in no way due to the abuse I suffered. I knew I was a girl since I was aged 5 but was forced to conceal it. I wished to come out in the late 1990s but felt the world wasn’t ready.

After my divorce in January 2019. I embraced my true self, which brought me happiness. Despite this, I continued to battle with my mental health challenges and sought support from The Listening Place. Their compassionated volunteers helped alleviate my suicidal thoughts, providing a non-judgmental space where I felt truly heard for the first time in my life.

Over the past five years, The Listening Place has been a crucial support system. I have been estranged from my family, however I had sporadic contact with my sister when she felt able to. Cashleen, had been an inpatient on a medium secure unit for 23 years. In autumn of 2020 she was discharged into supported living.

She continued self-harming and her mental health was deteriorating, there were many calls to the local mental health services and visits to A&E. At one point she was admitted to the local community psychiatric ward. After her last visit to A&E in December 2022 despite being assessed as high risk of suicide she was discharged and on the 18th of May 2023 she was found dead in her room. I learnt of this on the 29th June 2023.

Following her death, I expressed my intentions to everyone that I was ending my life after her inquest on 16th February 2024 - her inquest is now in September 2025. Despite over 20 safeguarding referrals, my local mental health services South West London deemed me ineligible for support even knowing how my sister's death has impacted me and knowing my intentions.

My anorexia worsened before I learnt of my sister's death, leading to a significant weight loss of over 23 kg since January 2024, yet the Eating Disorder Services still declines any assistance. The support of The Listening Place has kept me going through their invaluable and compassionate volunteers.

While The Listening Place isn’t specialised in eating disorders, they provided a non-judgment environment where I could discuss any topic even about the intentions of dying. They did not try to persuade me not to do it, but listened to me. Their unwavering support, particularly from a volunteer assigned to me in August 2023, was instrumental in my mental health recovery.

It must have been incredibly difficult for the volunteer to listen to someone who was intending to commit suicide, talking as though there were no other options, and emphasising the need to hold local services accountable and ensure others were not treated as I was, by sparking a Serious Case Review.

Last December (2024) was the first time I didn’t rely on their support during Christmas since starting to use their services back in 2018. The Listening Place refers to me as a ‘Visitor’ rather than as a ‘Service User’ which I gratefully appreciate, that makes me feel like a human and not a number.

Now, I aim to give back by undertaking a 1,000+ km journey to raise essential funds for The Listening Place, enabling them to continue supporting individuals in despair.

If you’re in the South, along the South West Coast, West of England, Wales, the North West, or Scotland, Precious and I would love to meet you during our journey. She truly is an amazing dog.

Please know that all donations made through JustGiving go directly to The Listening Place. I don’t have access to their funds, unless it is through my crowdfunding page.

Thank you for your support, and thank you for helping me make a difference for others like me.

For our safety, I will only use public transport when we encounter dangerous roads with fast-moving vehicles and nowhere safe for us to walk, or when we are running low on food and water. I will always be transparent by reporting these instances in my daily updates.

Links:

www.justgiving.com/page/sv (StreetVet)

www.justgiving.com/page/tlp (The Listening Place)

https://www.justgiving.com/team/sv-tlp (Team Page:)

Updates will also be regularly updated here and on our walking

instagram: @stop_look_feel

Precious has her own Instagram is: @preciousasweetdog

You can also contact me by email:

stoplookfeel@gmail.com

Thank you for your support, and thank you for helping me make a difference for others like me.

What the Listening Place does:

In the UK we lose someone to suicide every 80 minutes and it is the highest cause of death in men under the age of 50 and in all adults under 35. Despite this, effective support is hard to find.

The Listening Place (TLP) meets this need by providing free, face-to-face, ongoing support to those who feel suicidal. And they know that their support works, with visitors reporting a highly-significant reduction in how suicidal they feel after 3 and 6 months of support.

To date TLP has supported 14000 people and aims to support 6000 this year.

From the depths of my heart, I sincerely thank you for your support.