62 MILES FOR REFUGE ❤️

I’ve spent a long time trying to put into words why I’m doing this, because this isn’t just a fundraising challenge for me.

It’s personal. And I am a survivor!!

I know what it feels like to love someone deeply and, at the same time, slowly lose yourself.

I fell head over heels in love. I was completely overwhelmed by the physical attraction and the intensity of what I felt. I was attentive, understanding and forgiving. I gave him every part of me — every last ounce of love, patience and understanding I had — until eventually, I had nothing left to give.

I tried despite my fears. I tried to communicate, to explain, to understand and to help him understand me. I kept trying because I loved him and because I desperately wanted our marriage to work.

But eventually, I reached a point where I felt anxious almost 24/7. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t talk about my emotions. I couldn’t have an opinion without worrying about how it would be received. I couldn’t express my needs. In the end, I found it easier and more peaceful to say nothing at all.

I spent so much time trying to manage someone else’s emotions that I completely neglected my own.

But the truth is… I mattered too. I gave and gave until there was barely anything left of me. And eventually, I had to make the hardest decision of my life.

I had to choose myself. I didn’t stop loving him. I just finally realised that I needed to love myself too.

I miss him. Of course I do. I loved him deeply, and I’m grieving the person I loved, the life I thought we were going to have and the marriage I fought so hard to save.

But I don’t miss walking on eggshells. I don’t miss being afraid to speak. I don’t miss the accusations. I don’t miss the silent treatment. I don’t miss feeling controlled. I don’t miss feeling responsible for someone else’s emotions while mine were pushed aside. And I don’t miss feeling like I couldn’t say no.

I can miss someone and still know that being without them is healthier for me. I can love someone and still choose myself.

And that is why, this October, I am walking 62 miles to raise money for Refuge. Because somewhere, right now, there is another woman sitting in a home feeling exactly how I once felt.

There is a woman who is frightened.

A woman who has been made to believe that everything is her fault.

A woman who has been controlled, isolated, manipulated or made to feel that she has nowhere to go.

A woman who desperately wants to leave but doesn’t know how.

And there are children living alongside domestic abuse who deserve to grow up knowing that home is supposed to be somewhere they feel safe.

Leaving isn’t always as simple as people think.

There can be fear. There can be financial control. There can be nowhere to go. There can be children to protect. There can be threats, intimidation and years of being made to believe that you can’t manage without the person hurting you.

Sometimes, what a woman needs most is for someone to say:

“I believe you. You are not alone. You deserve better. We can help you.”

That is what organisations like Refuge are there for.

So I’m asking you to help me raise as much money as I possibly can.

62 miles.

62 miles of walking, thinking, remembering and turning some of the most painful experiences of my life into something positive.

Every single donation, no matter how small, could help provide vital support to women and children experiencing domestic abuse.

If my story makes even one woman realise that she isn’t alone, or helps one woman find the courage and support she needs to escape, then sharing it will have been worth it.

For every woman who thinks she can’t leave.

For every child who deserves to feel safe.

For every survivor trying to rebuild their life.

And for every person who has ever been made to feel like they don’t matter…

YOU MATTER.

Please donate if you can. ❤️

And if you can’t donate, please share this post. You never know who might be silently reading it and desperately need to know that there is a way out.

I survived.

I’m rebuilding.

And now I want to help other women escape. ❤️

#Refuge #DomesticAbuseAwareness #Survivor #62MilesForRefuge #EndDomesticAbuse